The Power of the Gap: Thriving in Life’s In-Between Moments

Life’s transitions—the space between the old and the new—can feel uncertain, uncomfortable, and even disorienting. But what if these gaps were actually powerful portals for growth, clarity, and transformation? In this episode of Sh8peshift Your Life, we explore how to recognize when you’re in the “in-between,” why these moments are sacred, and how to intentionally design your lifestyle to navigate them with grace, and resilience.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Life's Transitions
• 3:29 Understanding the Gap
• 10:16 Navigating Uncertainty and Resistance
• 15:34 Mindset and Rituals for Transformation
• 20:41 The Power of Movement and Creativity
• 23:41 Building Structure and Support
• 29:30 The Journey of Continuous Growth

Transcript

Welcome back, Shapeshifters, for another exciting episode. I can't believe that it's already June. We are already halfway in between the year. Life's transitions, the space between, can feel uncertain. It can feel uncomfortable and even disorienting at times. But the reality is that these gaps, these moments of transformation, are actually moments of tremendous growth, tremendous clarity. And in this episode, we're going to explore how to recognize when you're in the space in between and why these moments are really sacred and how to intentionally design your lifestyle so that you can embrace transitions from a place of grace. Many of you have heard me say that this year, 2025, the numerology adds up to the number nine. Nine is a transition number. Nine represents the cycles of death and rebirth. And so the reality is our planet is literally in a transitional space right now. The way that numerology works is we move from cycles of one to nine. So we are now nearing the end of a powerful nine-year cycle. And so you can think about what happened over your life in the last nine years and that next year, 2026, which adds up to the number 10. One plus zero being one, we will go back to the one. It might feel like you're giving birth right now. It might feel like you're nearing the end of something grand, not just you, but your family, your community and the planet. And the reality is you are, right? I say nine years really can be these times of your testing year. Where different opportunities and invitations that the universe will bring you to say, hey, did you learn this lesson or did you not learn this lesson? And often we can think of these transitional moments as meaning that we did something wrong. Well, why is this showing up in my life again? It's showing up in your life for you to tell the universe where you stand. It's showing up in your life for you to tell the universe, know what, I got this lesson. When that text message from that ex hits you up to let you know, are you really over this relationship?


When that dramatic thing happens in your family and you have an opportunity to speak your truth, this is your invitation to speak your truth. So the first thing is how do we know if we're in a gap? The gap is the place between idea to manifestation. It's the place between me planting that seed in the soil and actually being able to harvest the fruit. It's what we do in the space between what is and what's next.

And many of us can be paralyzed by the gap. Many of us are still sitting right now in that space of a dream, a venture, a relationship, a health opportunity, a career shift that we want to make. And we're looking at where we want to be, but we're afraid to step into the gap. We're afraid to truly put 10 toes down and say, you know what? I planted that seed and I'm cultivating that seed even if

I cannot see it bearing fruit. Some typical gaps can be career transitions, shifts in relationships, even identity evolution. Something that I've learned as being a woman is that I'm always evolving. Sometimes the fashion that worked for me last year or two years ago doesn't work for me. Sometimes the exercise program that had me tight and right, it ain't working like it used to work.

Sometimes the foods that I used to eat that were supporting me are no longer supporting me. So the reality is many of us are just an evolutionary transitions. We are literally becoming and forming something new. And although we love to use the word transformation and it sounds really cool and exciting, the reality is to transform, part of you has to relinquish who you are in order to step into something new. Part of you has to die, if you will to compost, shed, to release, to drop the baggage in order for us to find a new form. And sometimes finding a new form can be scary. It can be paralyzing. And so part of it is one, knowing that you're in the gap and actually being willing to step into the gap. So how do we recognize that we're in the gap? Some of the ways to recognize that you're in the gaps is if you're feeling a sense of uncertainty. If you're someone that loves to know what's next and you're used to having your plan and you've got your two-year plan and you've got your calendar and everything is cute and you're like, you know what? I don't know what's gonna happen right now. I got some things in the air. There's some intentions that I have, but I really don't know.

You are in a place of uncertainty. And I think uncertainty can be this beautiful place. I like to think of it like a white canvas where we then get to say, what do I want to put on this canvas? What colors, what shapes, what do I want to create? Right? Uncertainty, I use the analogy, can also feel like you're on that country road with no streetlights driving at night. And all you can see is what's directly in front of you. And you want to see the whole picture. You want to see the path, but the path has not been clear yet. And one of the things that we have to recognize, we're in those times of uncertainty is uncertainty is the place where spirit loves to dwell. Uncertainty is the place where now you can say, let me put my ego to the side. Let me let spirit into this because now I'm in a co-creative relationship with spirit. But the reality is sometimes we get so bogged down in our ego.

We don't want to allow space because we think that we can plan everything out and figure everything out. That entails a level of surrender to saying, you know what? I just don't know. When we just put our hands up and say, we don't know, when we get down on our knees and say, you know what, spirit, I surrender. Now we're in the game. Now it's getting exciting. Now some real, things can move because now you're willing to embrace what you don't know. And it is in that not knowingness that spirit, that darkness, that place of the unseen. Think about that seed going into the womb of the earth. Think about that seed going into that space of darkness. Now creation can manifest that there are things that are happening, that there are things that are being formed, that there are things that are being shaped for your life right now. And the reality is you can't see the outcome because something better is in store because other energies are working, other frequencies, other opportunities are coming together. So one way to I recognize if you're in the gap is if you're feeling a tremendous sense of uncertainty. And again, as above, so below is not just you. We're in a time of uncertainty on the planet right now. So we have to understand that sometimes we are the microcosm experiencing the macrocosm of what's going on in the bigger picture. Another way to recognize that you're in the gap is if you are feeling a sense of resistance. You maybe are doing things in your life that used to work. It feels like every time I'm trying to push something forward, it's just not flowing. It's being met with tension. It's not moving forward and you find yourself continuously facing blockages. You're feeling like I'm being blocked at every turn. That is a recognition of being in the gap and that is an invitation where spirit is asking you, what do I need to let go? What do I need to change? What do I need to surrender? Also, when we're in that place of resistance, we can also feel like we're in patience. Impatience is another huge sign to recognize we're in the gap where it's not happening fast enough. It's not happening quick enough. You feel like you should be a place where you're not at and that spirit saying you ain't ready, boo. You're not ready to be there because one thing that I know is what spirit has for you, no one can take away. Ancestral inheritance is written in your fingertips. It's written in your eyes. It's part of your DNA. It's part of your makeup. And so we have to be willing. to surrender and to embrace that what is for us is for us. And sometimes if it's not moving at the pace that we want it to happen, it's because there's internal work. Again, going back to that analogy of the soil, of the darkness, there's internal work. That seed is still breaking up and expanding and burrowing its roots into the ground. That seed is still growing. That seed requires nutrients, mindsets, practices. Maybe there's a person or an opportunity that you need to meet that is going to support you. And that person, that energetic frequency is just getting itself together. We're ready to be at the top of the mountain. But the reality is we're still climbing. So when you're finding yourself feeling these emotions really strong, it's an opportunity to take a step back. And we live in a visually obsessed society now where social media and the illusion of being on that mountaintop, there's influencers who build an entire brand. I mean, let's face it, shit, all of us, we post the shit that looks good. We post you when I'm in that cute outfit, when I'm eating that fine food, when I'm in that special place. So when you look at me, you're going to see a pretty picture. But it's always been important, whether I'm in professional circles, whether I'm in personal circles that I share. Let me talk to you about what it took to get here. Let me take you back 2008 when I was living as a married woman running a nonprofit, raising my three year old daughter and my relationship ended. And I went through the foreclosure crisis and the nonprofit that I was running lost all of its funding. And I had to move back to my mama's house my childhood home with my daughter in tow. When I got into an accident and I got a permanent scar on my face that I have to live with for the rest of my life. When I had to surrender, when I had to say every single part of my identity as a mother, as a homeowner, as someone that's in a relationship, as a married woman, as someone that's employed, as someone that has their own place and is now living with their mama when every single thing of me was stripped away and I had to get down on my knees and surrender and say, you know what, spirit? Hey, I'm clearly not in control here. Clearly something else is going on. I'm feeling uncertainty. I'm feeling resistance. I'm feeling impatient. I feel like I should be at a different place. feel like everything that I built was lost and spirits said, okay, boo, I got you. Let me plant within you this idea of being a shapeshifter. Let me remind you that water is your teacher and that water can take the shape of any form. Let me have different corporate clients call you so you can get tapped into some corporate contracts and form your own business. And that business will allow you to travel all over the country and give you a free and set you up for your entrepreneurship and that album that you went and cried your heart out, leading you to be able to open for a crowd of 10,000 people and travel, bringing your music and your message to the world. So yes, you may see the end result and you may say, well, look what she did, but do you know what I had to do to get here? I had to surrender. I had to release, I had to let it go. I had to be in that valley. But every step of the way when I was in that valley, I had to keep moving forward. I had a daughter looking at me. I had bills that needed to be paid. I had creativity that needed to be expressed. I had friends in a circle around me that continued to affirm me that said, baby, you got this. Yeah, we see you down right now, but we know who you are. And if I didn't have those practices in place, I wouldn't be sitting here before you today. So never, never forget that nine times out of 10, when you're looking at another individual and you think that there's no such thing as an overnight success. Even when you look at children's stars, they've been doing it since they were born. Even when you look at someone like Beyonce, this person has been groomed their entire life to be one of the number one entertainers. Everybody that you see out here got here because they were willing to put the work in. They were willing to sacrifice. They were willing to surrender. And let me tell you something, the people who you say, they didn't work and they just blew up. Typically the people who blow up quick don't keep it. You can make the money. You can get the business. You can buy the house, but can you maintain the house? Can you maintain the business? Can you create spaces of sustainability? See, that's when the real from the fake start separating themselves. So you can't look at other people and compare yourself to where they are. The only person that you're in competition with every day when you get up is you. You need to be a better version of yourself. So what is the lifestyle design for living in a space of in-between? How do we design our life? Are the architects of our own life? What is the lifestyle design? What is the architecture? What is the infrastructure? What does the scaffolding look like for us to shape and create a container of support for ourselves when we are in these gaps. So the first thing that we always have to do is change your mind. Moving from a place that things aren't moving quick enough to knowing that things are working in their appointed time. To move from a place of thinking that everything is blocked to saying, you know what, the universe is opening up, something new is coming. Shifting your mindset into a gratitude saying, you know what, Thank you. Thank you that that didn't open up in the way that it needed to because I know something better is coming. Let me move into a place of celebration. Yes, spirit universe. Something better is coming. I'm so grateful. You see how just the mindset shift alone can put you in another frequency because when you change your mind, you're shifting your energetic field. You're shifting your chakras. You're shifting your vibrational resonance. You are moving your body to a place of being able to broadcast positivity, to broadcast a frequency that is going to allow you to magnetize and attract what it is that you want. And so if you're dragging yourself along, thinking that you're not far enough, thinking that you did something wrong, thinking that you're not enough, but you're still doing the quote unquote, work to get where you want to be, it's not going to happen because it starts with your mindset. Your mindset shapes your reality. So that's number one. Number two is what are the rituals? What are the practices? One of the things that you can do when you are in that place of the gap in your meditation is you can visualize where you want to see yourself. There was a time that I didn't have the lifestyle that I have right now, but I would put that picture in my mind. I would sit down in front of my altar and I would say, this is I want my life to feel like. I want to be able to travel the world. I want to be able to live abroad. I want to have a life of ease. I want to live in a home of beauty. I want to have this amount of money in my bank account. Even though I wasn't there, I was still able to visualize and tap in. Scripting is another really powerful form. You can script the life, paint out the life that you want to live. This time of being in the valley is sacred, it's transformative, it's powerful, and you literally can be in a place of taking it as a sacred ritual in order to shape in the metaphysical realm. Because everything that you see in the physical realm started in the metaphysical realm, started as a thought. So don't leapfrog over. This is why ancient cultures do ritual and practice. Whether they want to have the harvest that's going to feed the village, whether they need the rains to come so that they can have prosperous crops. That work starts in the metaphysical realm, that they are doing ritual in the place of the unseen. When we talk about the unseen, we're always talking about darkness. We're always talking about the womb. This is even why some cultures believe that the dream state is actually the reality. And this is not, this physical state is the dream. Utilizing that place of darkness to create the form of what it is that they want to have in the physical realm. Also moving our bodies. We have to embody somatically these teachings and through movement again, what are you doing through movement? You're awakening your body, especially if you can move your body to a place of sweating Right moving your increasing your heartbeat What is increasing your heartbeat do? It allows the oxygen to flow. It allows the blood to flow. That's going to flow through all of your vessels, all through the parts of your body, which is going to stimulate you, which is going to rise up your frequency, which is going to raise your vibration. This is why music and creativity and movement are so critical to indigenous ceremony. We don't pray quietly. We don't pray silently. Go to a black church, go to any space with African people who are worshiping and baby, we moving. Even if you look at animals, when you look at a dog, when it's in a place of stress, what do they do? They start shaking their bodies. That shaking, the ancient knew, animals know. When you move your body, it allows you to attract and call in that stagnant energy sitting still. Again. What is society forcing us to do on this technology and on these screens right now? We're more stagnant. We move less than we've ever moved in the history of humans. Even for me, I don't work outside of my home. So if I don't get outside, if I don't move my body, if I don't say, know what, I'm going to get out of my home office today and I'm going to move and go to a co-working space, I could just live my whole life inside. And we missed something in that. That isolation is literally killing us. So you gotta move. You're moving your physical body so you can move your dreams, so you can move your goals, so you can move your life. It's not gonna come to you. You gotta go get it. You have to get out into the world and get into the game. And so that's where we get into that place of paralysis where so often we're sitting by the sidelines thinking and dreaming and hoping and wishing for what we want. But we're not moving the energy. We're not getting up every day and trying. We haven't done anything to get to where we want to go. And let me tell you, just like a workout plan, it's going to feel uncomfortable, just like working a new muscle. That muscle is stagnant, it's dormant. You got to awaken it. It might get sore, but you have to move past that place. This is why we say when we're giving birth, again, going back to the nine year, it is called labor to create life. It is where you're birthing new dreams, new possibilities, new ventures. You got to put some work in the game and that work requires movement and also requires creativity. Creativity is going to stimulate the part of your brain that's going to allow those synapses to start firing off. It's going to create new neural pathways for you. Those neural pathways are going to open up new opportunities for possibility. And we know that social media and being on screens destroys our creativity. This is why the people that created those applications don't even allow their own children to use it because they want their children doing analog activities because analog activities, writing, drawing, dancing, singing, photography, gardening, listening to an album, gonna stimulate that creative juice. And that creative juice is gonna allow you to move into a creative mindset. And that creative mindset is gonna allow you to not just dwell in the valley, but thrive in the valley. It's gonna allow your You felt like you were up against the wall because you had to do something a certain way and now you've been sitting in spirit just gave you another download. a creative idea, a creative opportunity. now I can do it this way. Wow, I was hitting my head against the wall trying to do it this way. But once I took a step back, this new thing came and that new thing turned into this new person and that new person turn into that new opportunity and that new opportunity turned into me doing it in a way that I couldn't even conceive that's even better than what I thought I was moving against. That's how spirit works. So mindfulness, scripting your life, movement and creative practice are going to be the sacred tools. So experiment with those different modalities and see what works for me and know that if something's not working, you can try something else. That's when we get into that place of curiosity. That's when we can move into that place of adventure. Think about the child's mind, that inner child, that inner you. When you were just a little innocent child and you had wonder, you had imagination, you had play. Play is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to ourselves because in play, we don't have an outcome. We're just in the moment. Play moves you to a place of presence and presence moves you to a place of higher magnetism. Another tool for lifestyle design when you are in the gap, and this one is going to sound a little counterintuitive, but it's so important, is structure. And, you know, there was a time in my life when anytime you'd say the word structure, like I automatically repelled. I didn't like it because, again, many of us have been so traumatized by living in a system of patriarchy and white psychosis. And when we think about structure, we think of the structure of capitalism, think of government structures, we think of political structures, we think of all the systemic inequality and we're like, well, I don't want structure, right? We don't even have an idea of structure beyond white psychosis, right? We don't think about Afro-Indigenous structures. We can't think about village structures. When we think of structure, we automatically go to a place of whiteness. So we have to begin to expand our minds and redefine, re-examine calling on the structures of those that came before us, of the ancients, and knowing that structure is powerful. Again, going back to the idea of the child, the child playing in the sandbox, they're in that place of wonder. But even when that child goes to daycare, there's a time to get up, there's nap time, there's snack time, there's play time, there's rest time. That moving a young person through a place of structure and giving them that sense of safety giving them that sense of reliability because what happens is your nervous system, your energetic field begins to shape itself to the structure that you put in place. When you're already in a gap and you're already in a time of uncertainty where you literally don't know what's coming next, knowing when your next meal is gonna happen, knowing when you're gonna work out. Knowing when you're going to have that time for creative play, knowing when you're going to have that time for mindfulness is going to give you a level of safety and security where your parasympathetic nervous system can say, you know what, I can't control the external forces, but I have absolute agency and power within myself to create structures and practices that are going to allow me to set meaningful actions, meaningful actions that are going to allow for meaningful outcomes that are going to create the outcomes that I want. So if you're working towards that goal, whatever that goal is, what are the structures and the disciplines that you're putting in place that are going to ensure that you're going to get to where you need to get? And thinking about it in those simple shifts, those simple moments. I know when I sit down on a Sunday and I open up my planner that I write with and I organize my week, that allows me to take all the stuff that's in my head and put it on paper. I know that if I say, okay, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we're going to work out, it gives me a place of peace because I know that even if I can't get to it on Monday, I have the structures in place. I know that if I meal prep and have healthy, delicious food in my refrigerator waiting for me, that that's going to give me a sense of peace because I know that when I find myself in that place of stress or a place of anxiety or I just need to be nourished, I know that I can open up my refrigerator and there's going to be something there that's going to sustain me. I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I know that it's going to support me and my health goals. So those are the types of structures that we're talking about. You can identify the structures that are going to work for you. Those simple containers of support that you're building for yourself along the way that you know you have power over that are going to allow you to feel a sense of safety and also building support, building support. Like I said, when I was going through my Valley moment, I have people around me that affirmed me. So whether you have trusted elders, whether you're coming to going to coaching, whether you have therapy, none of us are able to move forward alone. And this idea that you should be making it on your own and feeling isolated and trying to do everything by yourself. No, you may need an accountability partner. You may need to get some professional support to help you develop those structures. That's one of the things I do for my clients as a coach is we design their life. We look at the goals that they want to have. We look at their current lifestyle and we design in order for them to get there. Everybody that's successful all had internships, apprenticeships, mentors, advisors, boards, structures of support, family, elders. And unfortunately, some of us can't look to our families for that support. Some of our families are so traumatized within themselves that when we say, hey, mom, dad, this is what I want to do. I want to pursue this creative goal. They can't help you. They can't breathe life into you. They can't pray over you. They can't pour into you. So some of us are going to go have to build those structures and find those structures outside of our community. And so the people who are not affirming you in your valley. Don't get to know your goals. Don't get to be part of what you are visioning and dreaming towards. You don't owe them anything. Matter of fact, I would say you don't need to talk to them about what you got planned because they're not gonna help you. They're not gonna support you. If anything, they're going to bring you down. Part of creating structures of support are an identity. So part of creating the structures of support and identifying the people and the mechanisms that are going to hold you accountable and create a place of safety also requires the boundaries from the people who can't support you. It doesn't mean that you cut them out of your life, but you surely don't share your dreams with them. You don't have to give them the inner workings of what's going on with you because you don't want that in your energetic field. You don't want to put that in your garden. You want the best nutrients, the best water, the best location. You don't bring weeds into your garden. You don't pour poison over your garden and then say, well, I don't know why my garden is not growing. And you know the things that are in your life that are poison. You know what happens when you have too much sugar. You know what happens when you doom scroll too much. You know what happens when you have haters or people in your family around you that you talk to. You know what they're going to bring. So part of design is wisdom and discernment to understand who is worthy of being allowed in and who is not.

So as we close out for today's ShapeShifters, I want you to be able to identify what a gap is. I want you to know what are some of the traits and the ways to know if you're in the gap. I want you to be able to pull out into add to your own spiritual toolbox, your own medicine bag, more tools to support you, to embrace the sacred moment of transformation, to know that you are transforming into something greater that you can't even conceive of yet because it's still forming and to know that spirit puts you on this path for a reason and all things are being added to your portion and that you are going to emerge on that mountaintop and you're going to be able to look down and say, look how far I've And that is going to build up your confidence that is going to build up your energetic resonance because here's the thing You only last on the mountaintop for so long once you get to the top of that mountaintop Guess what another valley is going to emerge? But it's going to be easier for you to make that trek because you are taking all the wisdoms the insights the practices and the tools that got you out of the first valley and that's what life is life is a constant shift There is no end goal. It's the journey and not the destination. And that's what we have to remember. That is what our ancestors want us to remember. It's Western culture that makes you think that you've arrived at a place. But we know indigenous cultures understand that learning is a whole lifetime. They're still growing. And that's what keeps them going. That's what keeps them youthful. They've hacked the algorithm. They've mastered their life in a way that they understand that they're always working, that there's ebb and flow, that there's a time for rest, there's a time for growth, that they're moving into the seasonality, that they're working in co-creation with the forces of nature, that they're in alignment with their own valley, that they're on course for their own purpose and their own destiny. And that is how you get there, embracing these sacred moments because the medicine that you are bringing to the world is going to help move the world forward. It is going to help shape the new earth. And so Spirit has placed on you a divine assignment that only you can fulfill. And through the fulfillment of that assignment, we will live and we will breathe and we will create the future that we want to see for ourselves for our loved ones, for our children, and for the universe. All right. That is what I have for you today, Shapeshifters. Until next time, enjoy and keep shifting. Bye.